Saturday, May 29, 2010

Make Out Buddies Forever

When Chas and I were dating, we gave ourselves some pretty strict rules about physical affection. I highly suggest you come up with you own rules.

Because we kept those rules, our first experiences with making out, passionate kissing, ect. where when we were married. Because of that I felt so secure in our relationship. I knew that Chas would be the only person I'd do those things with and I'd always be the only one for him. Granted, neither of us was very good, even at kissing, but we learned together. It was and still is awesome to know that the things we've learned together will never be shared with anyone else. I also knew that he was in love with me and not just my body. I knew that he would stay in love with me no matter how my body might change with age and childbearing.

When we'd been dating for quite a while, I had a friend who asked if we'd kissed yet. I was kinda embarrassed to say, "No." I was surprised when she congratulated me on that and said, "When you start kissing, you stop talking." Instead of spending our time getting to know each other physically, we got to know each other very well mentally and emotionally. That has acted as a great foundation to our marriage.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Money Talks (but it doesn't know very much)

One of the more common worries that many young couples have is financial security. This is certainly a valid concern, as finances can be one of the leading factors in marital contention. But often these concerns are misdirected. While searching for a companion, you may be looking for someone who has a good income or a full bank account, but what you should really be looking for is someone with sound financial tendencies. The poor person who is wise with money has a great deal more to offer in a marriage than a rich person with bad financial habits.

This does not mean a good prospect must know all the ins and outs of good financial practices, but it does mean that if a person is thousands of dollars deep in pointless consumer debt, it may be wise to reconsider the relationship. It may seem harsh at the time of separation, but it will save you a lifetime of terrible financial and marital strain or divorce.

The same may be said of things like schooling and career advancement. The point is not to find someone who already has all the schooling and employment position to carry them through the coming years, but to find someone who values education and works hard. Those attributes do far more than a position or a degree.

There is another factor in marriage preparation that is often overlooked. Some feel that they should wait until they are well established or old enough to think like a well trained adult before they seek an eternal companion. The problem with this approach is that it denies the couple the opportunity to grow into their identities together. By the time both have learned to be established and independent, they are quite set in their ways, and the adjustments that are necessary to marriage can be more difficult to make. Sometimes it is these adjustments that lead older, more independent couples into difficulty.

The key is to remember that no matter how old or young you are, you NEED the Lord's help. You need to humble yourself continually and pray constantly. Don't assume that you'll be more prepared later, and don't focus on the past as if your chances are gone. Just stay humble and continually work on becoming better. You're not trying to become the most eligible bachelor or bachelorette. You're trying to become the best potential eternal companion.

Photo by badjonni on flickr

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: How Do I Love Thee?

The Talk, How Do I Love Thee, by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, is one worth hearing often. It's really a masterpiece, originally given at BYU, directed to single members of the church looking eternal companions. If you have heard it before, I recommend listening to it again. If you haven't heard it, YOU MUST HEAR IT!!!

The video is kind of a sampler of the talk, and the audio (Play button) is the whole talk in audio form.


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