Thursday, May 27, 2010

Money Talks (but it doesn't know very much)

One of the more common worries that many young couples have is financial security. This is certainly a valid concern, as finances can be one of the leading factors in marital contention. But often these concerns are misdirected. While searching for a companion, you may be looking for someone who has a good income or a full bank account, but what you should really be looking for is someone with sound financial tendencies. The poor person who is wise with money has a great deal more to offer in a marriage than a rich person with bad financial habits.

This does not mean a good prospect must know all the ins and outs of good financial practices, but it does mean that if a person is thousands of dollars deep in pointless consumer debt, it may be wise to reconsider the relationship. It may seem harsh at the time of separation, but it will save you a lifetime of terrible financial and marital strain or divorce.

The same may be said of things like schooling and career advancement. The point is not to find someone who already has all the schooling and employment position to carry them through the coming years, but to find someone who values education and works hard. Those attributes do far more than a position or a degree.

There is another factor in marriage preparation that is often overlooked. Some feel that they should wait until they are well established or old enough to think like a well trained adult before they seek an eternal companion. The problem with this approach is that it denies the couple the opportunity to grow into their identities together. By the time both have learned to be established and independent, they are quite set in their ways, and the adjustments that are necessary to marriage can be more difficult to make. Sometimes it is these adjustments that lead older, more independent couples into difficulty.

The key is to remember that no matter how old or young you are, you NEED the Lord's help. You need to humble yourself continually and pray constantly. Don't assume that you'll be more prepared later, and don't focus on the past as if your chances are gone. Just stay humble and continually work on becoming better. You're not trying to become the most eligible bachelor or bachelorette. You're trying to become the best potential eternal companion.

Photo by badjonni on flickr


singlemormonchick said...

i totally agree with you! i wish people in general were smarter about this subject.

Chas Hathaway said...

Yeah, and I think they would be, but society's pull is strong, and it's easy to forget.

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